Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Teaser Tuesday: Virginia Woolf

Here's a teaser of my currently untitled WIP. For now I'm just calling it Virginia Woolf since the heroine is named after her.

This is the first night she meets Ryder.

“I promise, we don’t bite. Well sometimes Tanner and Owen bite each other, and Drea’s…yeah she’s not totally safe either. Most girls want Shane to bite them. I don’t think he’s your type though I guess you never know.”

Crossing my arms, I say, “This is the part where you try to scare me into going home, right? Why don’t we skip it? You go your way and I’ll go mine.”

Fighting my smile, I look away, proud of myself. That sounded way more believable than I figured it would because honestly, the thought of hanging out with his friends does make me nervous.

“Woulda' got me if you didn’t smile and look away. It’s okay to be freaked. You never know how us kids from the wrong side of the tracks can be.” Then he does the strangest thing, he sits down in the sand, half his pants wet and all. “You’re not scared of me too, are you? Aren’t you supposed to see me as your knight in shining armor now or some shit?”

What. An. Asshole.

“That’s obviously what you’re looking for. You saved me out there and now you have to protect the helpless, little girl so no bad guys get her while she sits on the beach. I don’t need anyone to save me.”

“Nah, you got me wrong, rich girl. I know who and what I am and I’m proud of it. Have fun.” He stands again and starts to walk away. His voice plays in my head. The way it caught when he spoke. Guilt starts snaking it’s way through my insides. Yeah he was a jerk to me but he did save me as well.

And as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t want to be alone. I want to pretend today didn’t happen, the same way I pretend my past didn’t happen either.

“Wait,” jumps out of my mouth before I can stop it. Saying it, feeling it makes me raw, exposed in a way that makes me skin itch. Needing is weak and I promised myself I would never be that. If I’m weak, it will be easier for our family curse to get it’s claws into me.

Pierced lip boy stops, pauses and then turns around. He doesn’t say a word until he gets back over to me. “You should take your pants off.”

Unexpected heat simmers beneath the surface of my skin. “I…What…I’m not…”

He laughs and shakes his head. “I’m not trying to have sex with you. Unless you want sex, then I’m game.”

My cheeks get hot next. I’ve had boyfriends but no one has ever said something like that to me before.

“You’re shivering. Your pants are wet. Take them off. Your small enough that you can sit with your knees in the hoodie to keep your warm.”

Oh. Okay. That makes sense. “Turn around.”

“Really?” There’s enough question in his tone that tells me he’s not asking to be a jerk. He’s genuinely surprised I would ask him that.
Still, he turns around.

As fast as I can, I slip out of my pants, lie them out and then sit down. I pull my knees up into the hoodie like he said, immediately feeling warmer. “Okay, you can turn around now.”

He does and then he sits beside me. We’re quiet for a few minutes, and again I feel my cheeks warm. Why did I ask him to stay? I don’t even know this guy. I don’t need anyone.

“You can go,” I whisper.

“Nah, it’s cool. I didn’t really feel like being around a bunch of people tonight anyway.”

We go back to being quiet again. Pierced lip boy rolls his pant legs up, and then stares out at the ocean. Questions rapid fire in my brain: why doesn’t he want to be around people? Is he as lonely as he looks?

And then something strange happens… I start to pretend he’s like me. That he feels cursed to be who his parents are. That he’s trapped. That he lives a lie to everyone close to him because he’s so scared to show them who he is.

Because he’s afraid of who that might be.

I open my mouth to say something, what I don’t know but his phone rings, saving me.

He pulls it out of his pocket and answers with a, “what’s up?”

He covers the cell and looks at me. “Do you have a car?”

I nod.

Back on the phone, he says, “Nah, I’m cool. I have a ride. I’ll catch you guys later.”

I don’t bring up the fact that he didn’t ask me and that I don’t know where he lives. I’m just thankful not to be alone tonight. Not to have to think about Mom, Dad…or Amelia.

“Your name’s Lulu?” He asks after a bit.

Immediately I tense up.

“Relax. I’m not stalking you. You said it earlier.”

Oh yeah. Duh. Little flashes of Mom from today flitter into my head. How excited she looked at the school, how sad she looked at my house. “My mom named me after Virginia Woolf,” I say, not sure why I do. “But my middle name is Lulu. That’s what I go by.”

Pierced lip boy nods.

More quiet, so much quiet I wonder if he feels like he’s suffocating in it like I am.

“So I guess this means you don’t want to have sex?” There’s laughter in his voice, and before I know it, I’m laughing as well. I’m not choking on the quiet anymore, so when we slip back into it, I feel strangely okay.

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Thursday, July 24, 2014

I love this feeling

I have finally settled on a project...

Not just that but I have been writing like crazy. I'm in love with this book. I want to work on it all the time and I wish real life would stop getting in the way!

Since I haven't talked much about what I'm working on lately, and my last post I still wasn't sure which book I would settle on, I made you guys a teaser so you can get an idea of what's going to be keeping me busy for a while. I hope it gets you as excited about this project as I am :)

More coming soon....

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Thursday, July 17, 2014

The Beginnings

I have three books going right now, but two of them are pulling my attention more than the other. They are totally different one is all boy point of view. It's light, funny and quirky. Think Sebastian.

The other is alternating boy/girl point of view. It's not extremely dark, but it's much more intense than the other one is. Both books are YA.

Because it's been so long since I've shared anything with you guys, I decided to share the beginning of each book. Remember this is early stages, and everything is subject to change. I hope you enjoy them!

Book One:
You know those stories where the nerdy guy wants the popular girl, only by the end of the whole thing they realize it’s the quite best friend they’re really into? Well, that’s not my story. Okay, so I don’t really know my story considering I’m still living it but as I stand in the hallway watching Berlin Davies walk with Tori Daniels, in her short skirt and mile long legs, I know she’s the one I want.

Not that I think there’s anything wrong with quiet girls. They’re cool.

And not that I’m a nerd either. If you ask me, I’m pretty damn cool. The rest of the school just hasn’t figured it out yet. I’m giving it time though, slowly work into the fact that I’m really a kickass guy and that everyone should want to be friends with Max Edwards.

Book Two:
My mom named me after Virginia Woolf.

When I was five she told me Virginia Woolf was one of her favorite writers, and I thought it was so cool she named me after her. Mom is this bright light, so amazing and she named me after someone who was her favorite. When I went to bed that night she tucked me in, pushed my hair out of my face and then asked if I wanted to know more about Virginia Woolf. Before I could reply she told me Virginia was sad. That she’d been so sad that one day she stuffed her pockets full of rocks and stepped into a lake to drown herself.

It wasn't the kind of bedtime story I'd been looking for.

That’s when I knew that as alive as mom was, she was different as well. That’s when I first started to fear that I would grow up to be different, too.

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Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Plans Change

I've always considered myself a pretty decisive person. I'm not very spontaneous. I like to have a plan. It stresses me out if I don't have a plan, and I get pretty frazzled. Ask my husband. There are days it annoys the crap out of him and days he can't stop laughing at me. The older I get the more I realize that having a plan doesn't always work though. Now, that doesn't mean my lists and schedules go away. Not by a long shot but I'm trying to teach myself to be okay with plans changing because as one of my favorite poems says, plans have a way of falling down mid-flight.

And you know what? That's okay. I think. No, it is. Ask me tomorrow if I changed my mind :)

Seriously though, plans DO change and that IS okay. It's how you deal with it, how you roll with it and what you make of it that matters.

That's my Nyrae to-do project right now--learning how to roll with it.

Are you a planner? Does it stress you out if things don't go the way you thought they would?

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